101 Wylie-isms

1)      The most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself.

2)      Be your own best friend.

3)      Just like Einstein/ Mandela/ Whomever, you have 24 hours in every day.

4)      Assume that your free time will be worth more tomorrow.

5)      Happiness is a product of striving towards your goals.

6)      Make time for the people you love every day. Friends and family are what give your life meaning.

7)      Make time for the things you love every day. Hobbies are what make you interesting.

8)      Nobody cares how you look/ talk/ dress as much as you do.

9)      Nobody cares about your phone/ watch/ cat as much as you do.

10)   Some people simply won’t like you no matter what you do.

11)   Don’t concern yourself with trying to impress them.

12)   No matter how wide the divide, there is always a common ground somewhere.

13)   Acting kindly to those who are disrespectful towards you is oddly more satisfying than being cruel towards them.

14)   You get one chance to make a first impression, but you can make your second stronger.

15)   In most contexts, people will rarely stop to question someone who acts confidently.

16)   Most people will trust a reasonable lie told with a straight face.

17)   Stand up straight and look ‘em in the eye.

18)   Honesty is the best policy.

19)   Whoever smelt it, dealt it.

20)   Tip generously.

21)   Give credit. Don’t ask for it.

22)   If you are only going to drink one cup of coffee in a day, save it for after lunch.

23)   That second cigarette isn’t going to make you feel any better than the first.

24)   Substance usage begets substance usage.

25)   Moderation is best done in excess.

26)   A little heavy drinking every now and then probably won’t kill you.

27)   Neither will a little marijuana.

28)   Music is sweet.

29)   The cab driver you didn’t tip isn’t going to return the phone you left in his backseat.

30)   Neither is the cab driver whose moving vehicle you threw up out of.

31)   The stranger who sees you drop your phone usually will.

32)   Never be the first to break eye contact, unless you suspect you are holding gaze with a psycho.

33)   To avoid conjunctivitis, wash your hands twice after using the restroom if applying contact lens.

34)   Not everyone appreciates your sarcasm as much as you do.

35)   Taking accountability for your flaws makes them significantly more tolerable.

36)   The most constructive feedback is rarely heard with welcoming ears.

37)   The friend who isn’t honest with you isn’t your friend.

38)   True friends stab you in the front.

39)   Saying thanks is expected; showing thankfulness is not.

40)   Practice gratitude while you still have what it is you are grateful for.

41)   Don’t just join a gym, become someone who enjoys going to one.

42)   More biceps.

43)   The key to looking good naked is having nice legs.

44)   Everyone looks funny naked wearing socks.

45)   You can tell a lot about someone by their shoes.

46)   He who blows hard close to candle gets wax in face.

47)   The bird = the word.

48)   The guest who brings gifts is always welcome.

49)   Two heads are better than one. Three heads are more easily distracted than two.

50)   If it didn’t work the second time, it won’t work the third.

51)   Two shakes are never enough.

52)   Any guy can get any girl.

53)   Swing for the fences.

54)   Take your shot when its open or someone else will.

55)   Approach from the front.

56)   Smile.

57)   Be yourself.

58)   If you have to try to be yourself, you aren’t being yourself.

59)   Normal is boring.

60)   Initiate body contact early and often.

61)   Stop thinking so much.

62)   If you are focusing on your appearance/ posture/ body language, you aren’t listening.

63)   You aren’t catching anything with your hands in your pockets.

64)   If you can get her to laugh at herself, you’re golden.

65)   Make sure she actually wants you before you go jumping into her.

66)   Sex is nice! A little promiscuity can be fun.

67)   Sleeping with someone you don’t care about will leave you feeling lonelier than you did before the sex.

68)   Wear a helmet.

69)   Cunnilingus is an investment with high returns.

70)   When in doubt, see a doctor.

71)   When it comes to dating, trust your friends.

72)   Failure is your friend. It is also an art.

73)   There is opportunity in everything, but it is up to you to recognize it.

74)   Take the stairs.

75)   Knowing how to lose gracefully is more valuable than knowing how to win.

76)   Resilience and drive will take you further than talent.

77)   The greater the resistance inside you towards an action, the more important it is that you act.

78)   There is a fine, but distinct, line between believing and knowing. The difference lies in being able to translate past victory into future success.

79)   The last quarter mile is more important than the twenty-six that came before it.

80)   If you think you might have to poop before going for a run, you do.

81)   Push your body beyond where it wants to go, not where it can go.

82)   Satisfaction is more satisfying if it is found in the pursuit of goals rather than their attainment.

83)   Eating Goldfish before flossing is a great way to tell if you’ve hit all those hard to reach spots.

84)   Everything in life is debatable. Not everything is negotiable.

85)   A little charisma goes a long way.

86)   You can learn a lot by listening to someone with whom you disagree.

87)   If you are formulating your response, you aren’t listening.

88)   Knowing when to keep your mouth shut means knowing when to speak up.

89)   Taking care of your head and your heart is a tenet of health and happiness alike.

90)   Give a man Netflix and he will be entertained for a season; teach a man to read and he will be entertained for a lifetime.

91)   Your thoughts originate from you.

92)   If you don’t like how you are feeling, change the way you think.

93)   You choose what you believe about yourself and your world.

94)   Choose optimism. Your aim will always be poor if you shoot believing you’ll miss.

95)   It may not be that easy, but choice is as simple as you allow it to be.

96)   Breathe.

97)   Enjoy the water.

98)   When life gives you lemons, say, “fuck this, I’m drinking apple juice.”

99)   You already have everything you need to be happy.

100)   It is a choice to wake up, decades down the line, and think, “I blew it.”

101)   Do not live. LIVE!